An important announcement, an even more important metaphor, and a random moment of life reflection. I’ll regret this later, but let’s get personal.
I once had a secret dream two years ago to become a legitimate fashion blogger. Today, my furtive efforts to achieve that dream have been revealed. Against all odds, I have officially imported my old fashion blog of two years, Coco Carte Blanche, into my new supposedly literary blog of barely two months. (The Fraicheurie Files starts where Coco Carte Blanche ends, after the post, “l’art pour l’art,” and with the inaugural post, “A Riotous Introduction of Sorts“). The result is a mishmash mutt of a personal compendium with little sense of what direction it’s headed in or where it came from to begin with, which works well as a life metaphor for me personally.
Moving on to that important metaphor.
I never had much faith or pride in my old blog. I actually tried to hide it. My attempt to start anew with The Fraicheurie Files was an attempt to get rid of all that tacky history. Therefore, the decision to hold on to those fledgling Coco days of try-hard and superficial fashion/lifestyle/Godknowswhat blogging (somehow) translates into another acceptance, a self-acceptance of 18 years as an awkward, unassuming, and overall random person. It’s a decision to keep my past in all its unglamorous, jumbled, and ordinary glory. Continuing on with this metaphor, I’ve had enough of trying to start a new blog every time I needed a clean slate to reinvent myself. Dammit, I’ve tried to reinvent everything about me whenever I began to doubt, rushing at any chance I had to press restart. I’ve spent a long time trying to be myself by escaping myself. But this highly symbolic merging of blogs, dear readers, represents a new dawn, a new era. From now on out, this is real, this is me. Now I’ve found who I am, no more hiding who I wanna be. This is me. (sentiments c/o Demi Lovato circa 2000)
Let me explain just a little more.
The Fraicheurie Files was to be a completely different project with a new focus, tone, and feel. Just like what I thought I’d try to become when I start college soon, someone new, more mature, and much cooler. Then I must have gotten much too uncertain or much too sentimental along the way and here we are, standing at the crossroads of past and future, standing dead smack center in the present. And looking around from this point, clean slates and reinvention are unnecessary. What’s necessary is the courage to find nothing wrong with the blog and the slate I’ve already written on.
For those of you who haven’t seen me in my Coco Carte Blanche prime, I hope you’ll enjoy. It will be somewhat like perusing the high school yearbook of a stranger you don’t know. Actually, more like that person’s high school diary. Make of it what you will.
Now on to the disclaimer.
I’ll end on this note. This is no longer a high schooler’s “sartorial scrapbook.” I’m pushing forward towards something different with my blog and my life. Anyway, I change too much and move too quickly. But now at least, I have a rear view mirror to look back with.